Perspective really is Everything....

Just as I was ending another 12-hour day, I got a text from Deborah Sue saying that Al Woods had just died. I was so immediately and unexpectedly sad. Al is Mike and Niki's Dad - they were all very close. He and my Dad grew up a few years apart in the Punchbowl area of Honolulu. Al was a good guy - a jokester, tell-it-like-it-is, common sense kind of guy. He was warm and loving - a real sweetheart. A great sense of humor and the ultimate conversationalist. You could talk to Al about any topic under the sun and he'd have something interesting to say.

He had a double heart attack a couple of weeks ago but they were hopeful that he was going to pull through. I was praying that he wouldn't die on Niki's birthday. But that's exactly what happened. I was struck exceptionally hard about that because I know how much Niki loved her Dad. Niki was a Daddy's girl all the way - the sun still rose & set on him - even all these years later after she married and had kids of her own.

So it really hurt my heart that to have him pass on her birthday. I called and left her a message - telling her how sorry I was and that I am praying for her. But it just wasn't enough - I've been so worried about her and I just needed to know that she was ok. So I called Jake, her husband, who has been home with the kids here in California while Niki is with her Dad in Honolulu. He told me he had been praying as well that Al wouldn't go today. But when he talked to Niki she had already made her peace with it. She said her birthday was the first day he ever saw her and it was now the last day she would see him. She said she was happy to share the day with him.

I think that is really amazing and I am seeing things in a different light now. Where as before, I was asking God why he allowed that to happen. Niki has been through so much in her life - it didn't seem fair that she would lose her Dad this way. Now I understand. The same things that seem really bad to us - something to be dreaded and avoided - can actually be precious gifts to the one who receives it.

I'd like to say that all of the grief that I'm feeling is generated solely for Niki and her brother Mike but that wouldn't be entirely true. I'm thinking about my Dad too. He's in a place he doesn't want to be because he is unable to care for himself after his last stroke. All he ever wanted is to go peacefully in his sleep. He didn't want to linger in useless despair. But that is what has happened.

And he is so far away. It kills me not to be able to be there for him. I don't understand why things have turned out this way for him. I don't know why but I have to trust that God is working out his perfect plan for my Dad. And that his grace is sufficient for both of us. And that while peace and comfort might be hard to find in this life, it will be ours without fail for all of eternity.

Perspective really is everything....