Food is not the enemy...?

I started keeping track of what I eat using the Prevention website. It's a great site - very informative, great recipes and home of the intriguing Flat Belly Diet. (More on that in a minute.) Keeping track of my daily intake isn't as hard or annoying as I thought it would be. And, knowing that I'll be writing it down has me asking why instead of why not before I indulge.

Because my limited finances aren't allowing me to be as creative as I would like - I have to plan ahead and be very thoughtful about what I buy. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. It keeps me from eating junk. Cutting out the Vitamin Water and sodas (again) have made a big difference. I'm drinking Ionized Water instead. Water I can drink without feeling nauseous and bloated - that is an amazing thing for me. I got these cool water bottles from Costco - they are sleek and leak proof so I can take them pretty much everywhere.

Back to the food... In November, I started reading about the Flat Belly Diet. Their take is that we don't eat enough healthy fats - they have a list of good fats that they call MUFAs that you should try to eat at every meal. Healthy Oils like Sunflower & Olive oils, Olives, Nuts & Seeds, Avocados & Dark Chocolate. Including a small amount with every meal is supposed to help get rid of visceral fat - gut and ab fat.

For once, I felt a twinge of hope because this diet is one I could actually follow - it's filled with things I like - Olives, Nuts and Avocados. Most diet plans are a joke for me. I eat very few vegetables and my favorites are also considered carbs by most diets. Most diets are packed full of all kinds of fruits and veggies that I can't or won't eat.

But this diet turns all of that on it's head. Here is a sample of a lunch suggestion from the book - Meditteranean BLT: Whole wheat English Muffin, Olive Tapenade, Minibel Cheese, Sundried Tomatoes, Romaine & Turkey Bacon. Total Calories = 376 calories. I'd probably leave off the Romaine - just cause that's what I do but the rest of it is totally doable.

Like I said before, I don't have the money to go out and buy all the stuff I'd need to follow this diet. The avocados alone would kill my budget. But it got me thinking. For as long as I can remember, my focus has always been on what I couldn't have. It occured to me that it is a narrow and negative way to think about food. And that led to an interesting question. What if I just started eating the healthy foods that I did like?

I grabbed my book on produce off the shelf and started to make a list. I made 4 different categories - things I like, things I kinda like, things I don't like and things I hate. To my sincere surprise, I found that there are a lot more things on the menu than I gave myself credit for. And my hate list wasn't nearly as long as I thought it would be. I can't stand onions, bell peppers, kale, cauliflower, jicama, celery, eggplant and bitter greens. But the good list included a few different kinds of squash, broccoli, bean sprouts, asparagus, spinach, zucchini, sweet potatoes and a bunch of fruits.

I have narrow filters but there are still more things I can eat than I thought. Texture is king. The secret for me is how things are prepared. I've been pulling my cookbooks off the shelf - How To Cook Everything by Mark Bittman is my bedtime reader. I'm thinking that roasting might be my new best friend. I plan to find out - one dish at a time.

Sustainable Change

Yes, well...You'd think with only one job I would be a posting fiend but not so thus far. I spent my first few weekends doing hardcore cleaning. I gutted my closet and reorganized my dresser. Feels so much better although I need to do some upkeep today...Later...

I have been quietly making other changes. Ridiculously simple & obvious things that I've never been able keep going for more than a few days at a time...before now. It's recently become clear to me, why that is. I've had a nasty struggle with perfectionism for as long as I can remember. And I used these unrealistic standards to cop out of really trying. There is a certain irony in allowing my perfectionist tendencies to keep me trapped in such mediocrity for all these years.

It's not just about the weight - it's everything. It's true of anything I was ever interested in doing. And my all-or-nothing mentality held me back just as much. It's as though I only ever had 2 speeds - Full-on or Dead Stop. It's not noble or admirable way to live...it's short-sighted & dumb. All or nothing doesn't work - it never worked. Now I see how that only set me up for repeated failure. Do what you've always done? Get what you always got...

So I have a different perspective now. My circumstances have been tough, for sure, but I am my own worst villian. If I continue to fail in life, it is my own fault. Period. To move forward, I must acknowledge the mental games I play & taking responsibility for how I've chosen to live. I am finally starting to live out the personal philosphies that I have been collecting over the past few years. Right now, it all boils down to 2 words: Sustainable Change.

I've been seeking out things that I can do now. Before my finances recover, before I feel better and all the other stars are aligned. My finances have not repaired to the place where I can afford to grocery shop with enough freedom to follow a specific diet. However, rather than being discouraged - I have gone a different route this time. In the past, I would have used my poor financial circumstances to excuse my unhealthy choices.

Truthfully, at least for the past year and a half - I really haven't had a choice. I was in the worst vicious cycle I've ever experienced. Lack of time and money led to 75% of my diet deriving from cheap fast food restaurants. I hated every minute of it and knew what it was doing to my health. Between two jobs - with the schedule I was working - it was eat on the run or not at all.

That is no longer true. Now, if I plan ahead and shop smart I can eat healthy. Also, I am staying hydrated - drinking a ton of ionized water and non-fat milk...and that's it. Most of the meals I now have time to make at home cost me much less than what I was spending on food that was killing me.

And guess what? I've lost 10 pounds so far. Now let me qualify that by saying...big deal...it's the same 10 pounds I've lost many times over. So it's not about the first 10 - it's about breaking past the mother of all 'plateaus'. This time feels different because I lost it honestly - not through sickness or depression induced starvation. Small sustainable changes have gotten me here.

I've been keeping track of my caloric intake, eating better foods and even getting in some exercise. All of this is a total shocker for anyone who knows me - including myself. Also, I'm finding that silence is one of the keys to success. Not talking about what I'm going to do before I do it. If my track record has proved anything it is that words are cheap - action is all that matters. Maybe I'll start talking after the results are visible.

I know I could really speed up my results if I started walking more. I haven't crossed over to that yet. But I have been playing some basketball - shooting baskets for a hour or so about 3 days a week. I love it too. Haven't been able to do it for years because of the torn rotator cuff injury. I am healed up now and finally able to get back into it. And that is no small miracle...trust me.

But what about the food? I'll save that for the next post....