The Good The Bad and The Undecided

Well, lots of change happening...now and soon. The Grocery store job is going to be over next month. They are closing down our location and I got laid off. While I've wanted to get out of the job - it's happening sooner than I planned. I was thinking I would hold onto it until March or April. Until my other job was paying me well enough to ensure I could quit without suffering. This is definitely not my timing.

The Office job is changing too, downsizing. We are moving - today & tomorrow - and starting over in a new office. No more mortgages - we're going to be doing mostly Debt Settlements. Lots of leads & advertising - radio, live calls & whatever else we can think of. Whatever it takes to make the phone ring.

For my part, I won't really be a loan processor anymore. I'll be doing all kinds of stuff - I suspect bookkeeping is going to be taking up a lot of my time. I don't have much practical experience keeping books. I'm going to have to take a crash course. And there'll be lots of prayer because I already know I can't do this on my own.

I'm trying to max my health & dental benefits out before the final axe falls. I've been pretty sick lately. I just don't feel good. I've been having trouble breathing, heart palpitations, crazy hair loss, fatigue, wicked coughing fits, nagging toothaches...I'm falling apart! I go on Wednesday to look over the bloodwork with the doctor. I want her to figure out what this is so I can get better. Hypothyroidism is my guess but I don't know yet.

I hope it is easy to fix and perhaps somehow involve rebooting my stuck-in-concrete metabolism so I can get some of this weight off. I know I'm not right if I actually want go get to sleep and that's what's going on tonight. I haven't been breathing since this afternoon and that has sapped all my energy. I just want to get healthy so I can stop feeling & sounding like I'm 90.

Still with all that is going on, I feel a bit hopeful. If I could just make it halfway to my end goal financially - get some immediate needs met & end some of this relentless pressure off... Man that is what I'm desperately hoping for. Tomorrow is a big day and I'm totally drained so I'm done complaining for the night. I'll check back in on Wednesday - hopefully with some good news for once!

Things I'd like to do this year

Start baking again
I'd like to start experimenting - maybe actually make use of my cookbook collection. Playing with Brownie recipes until I find a favorite. Test new Cake recipes. Practice decorating techniques on faux cakes. Working up new flavor combinations. Write Dessert Menus - cafe, catering, bake shop.

Cook...a little
Make & freeze a mess of Dad's Chili. Try out a few Casseroles. Find a good Chicken recipe. Master my favorite pasta dish. Find new things to love.

Get Healthy
Get bloodwork done. See an Endocrinologist - look into hypothyroidism, anemia, nutritional deficiencies. Go walking often enough to make a difference. Find enough food options to eat for health. Lose the spare tires.

Seek Spiritual Regeneration
Immerse myself back into things that matter. Pray for myself and others...every single day. Ask for the incredible and the impossible - be ready for it to happen.

Start thinking & planning
Decide where I should live after the kids move out. Stay here with another roommate or find a smaller place? Clean out the garage - part with the junk.

FINISH THE STORY
Set regular intervals of time aside to write. Save money for a thin, quiet Mac - search Craig's List for a good deal. Figure out a way to get better internet access at home.

Get out of the Financial Hole
File back tax returns. Figure out what to do about the IRS and the Credit Judgement. Get out from under HFC debt. Payoff Credit Cards - reduce monthly overhead.

Start Hoping Again....