I started several blogs at the same time - more evidence of my all or nothing tendencies. I find that this is the hardest one to keep up with which is funny since it is the most me-oriented one in the bunch. I always find it more appealing to talk about the abstract than the concrete.
So, I've been working on some things. Last week, a doctor friend told me that my recent blood test results could mean that I have serious malnutrition and may also be pre-diabetic. Not good. I've had lousy nutrition for years but things really slipped over the past year because my finances tanked. Those 99 cent Jumbo Jacks kept me alive but apparently not well.
We started talking because I was asking him what the causes of major hair loss could be as mine is falling out at a distressingly fast pace. His response was: stress, an iron deficiency or a thyroid condition. Since my thyroid tests looked ok - it seems I've got 2 out of 3. Stress...yeah I got that and my iron levels are low enough to need daily supplementation. Of course because I neglected to do it soon enough, it's really thinned out. I've had crazy thick hair my whole life so I wasn't too worried when I first noticed it, but now... My scalp is almost becoming visible and it's freaking me out.
Nothing gets me motivated for change more than the thought of an artificially sweetened future filled with endless bloodletting. Oh yeah, and baldness too.
This is what I have changed recently:
I'm taking Collagen & Iron Supplements twice a day (hair loss)
Went grocery shopping for Breakfast & Lunch meals (dinner is still a mystery)
Stopped eating fast food...again (except for the now occasional In&Out Burger)
Back to Plain old Smart Water...No more Vitamin Water = less liquid calories
Baby steps. Hopefully by next week I will have added the most crucial and dreaded change of all - a weekly excercise schedule. This week I'm still in 'planning/research mode' which I greatly prefer over 'action mode'. Not letting my internal motivation have a physical outlet is how I've failed to make any lasting changes over the years. Turns out, those NIKE ads had the best advice of all...Just Do It.
I've noticed that Pain Avoidance dictates a lot of my ingrained behaviors. I like to sleep in and take my time waking up. Working out not only involves physical pain but mental sacrifice as well. I like to multi-task and outdoor excercise (all that's available at the moment) doesn't allow for that. Also, I don't like to step out of my comfort zone. My general perception of life is that most of it is difficult and unpleasant. So much of what I do on a daily basis is outside of my control. What little I do control is padded for maximum comfort, emotionally & physically.
My unwillingness to push myself has made me soft & weak. To get stronger physically I've got to get uncomfortable enough to not only get moving but keep moving. Initial Action + Consistent Execution = Desired Results. Sounds like the makings of a cheesy self-help mantra. I'm writing this stuff down because I find some accountability in seeing my thoughts on paper and having my process exposed. It's not pretty now but the outcome could be if I don't let myself off the hook.
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